How to tell if someone likes you: 7 signs they're actually into you!
We've all been there. Maybe you've just started seeing someone and you're uncertain whether or not he/she likes you as a friend or if he/she is looking for more. Of course, you can't just ask, right? This feeling of uncertainty can be so stressful that you might even consider to run in the other direction and blow off any further dates.
In this post, we share a big collection of signs that can help you find out whether your date actually likes you or not. Beware: these are just signs and hints that help you find out whether someone might be into you or not. Do not take these hints for granted. Building a relationship takes time. Don't rush into things and especially don't think you're already in love after the first date.
7 ways to tell if someone likes you
We all subconsciously decide whether we like somebody or not within the first few seconds of the encounter with that person. According to this article, this window of time is usually between 0 and 15 seconds, which averages out to about 7 seconds. This means, that sometimes, we already decided whether we like somebody or not within a blink of an eye.
This being said, in a romantic encounter, you often know quite fast whether or not you like the person you're dating at the moment. Of course, this opinion, or better said, first impression, can change the more you get to know each other. Anyhow, it's tremendously important to leave a good first impression as it's really hard to get somebody to change their opinion about you if they already dislike you.
Unfortunately, it's quite hard to see immediately whether your date likes you back or not. That's why we've listed a few non-verbal clues that might help you see if someone is interested in you. If you still struggle to see or interpret these clues don't worry! You'll get better in reading other people over time and you also won't have to focus on these hints anymore as you'll automatically start to see them.
1) Casual touches
We have already talked about this in our blog post "5 psychological tricks that will make everyone like you instantly" before. By using casual touches, such as placing their hand on your shoulder or gently touching your hand, people indicate that they like you. Of course, this does not apply for daily touches, such as accidentally bumping into each other on the street or shaking hands.
Beware though: If you are already close friends, these casual touches mostly mean that the person likes you but not in a romantic way. We use casual touches all the time, especially with close friends so they don't mean the same thing as if you were dating.
2) They lean in when you're talking
This indicator seems obvious when talking about it but people are missing it all the time. This is why we put it on our list. When someone is interested in you, especially in what you're saying, they'll move closer to you and lean in.
The funny part about this is, that people are doing this subconsciously. This way, you could even realize that someone might be into you (or someone else) before they actually know it themselves.
3) They start using your catchphrases
Many times, we have talked about the topic of mimicking others' body gestures to show interest in this blog before. These things are really subtle and can be left unnoticed often.
What we didn't talk about before, is that people will tend to mimic your catchphrases, sayings, your tone, accents or even your speech rate, if they want you to like them.
Of course, this can be a coincidence, especially if you spend a lot of time with said person. But there is one way to tell for sure: take some time and try to invent a saying or a catchphrase that you haven't heard before. Use it in the presence of said person a few times and find out whether or not he/she starts using it as well. Of course, it can take a few weeks until they start doing so but it's worth a try.
4) They remember the slightest things about you
If you are interested in someone, you usually take the time to remember as much as you can about this person. Be it things about their family, their hobbies or even the slightest details about their personal life, such as a funny but irrelevant story.
This desire to know as much as possible about a person we really like is natural and lies deep within most of us. Therefore, you can easily tell whether someone likes you or not by looking at how much they can remember about you.
If they are already struggling with remembering your name, how many siblings you have or what your hobbies are you might consider dating someone else. On the other hand, if you meet someone who remembers things you might not even remember having told to them in the first place he/she might be into you.
5) They are asking more personal questions
Conversations with your potential partner should be similar to the ones you have with close friends. Not only, because you should be able to talk seemingly forever with them, but also because the topics are usually more personal.
With personal questions, we don't mean questions such as "what's your job" or "what are your hobbies". People who are genuinely interested in you will ask things such as "Why did you choose this profession? What motivates you to do what you do?" or "What is your biggest dream?".
This also comes with them talking about more personal topics themselves. They might tell you something about their childhood or about their dreams without you even asking.
6) They're visibly shy around you
If someone really likes you they most likely will try to make a good impression. This will most likely make them get nervous around you, especially at the beginning of a conversation.
There are a few clues to spot shyness immediately:
- They blink more frequently
- They play with their hair or fidget with a pen
- They look at their phone from time to time (not to be distracted or text somebody, only for a few seconds, maybe not even unlocking it)
- They touch their face more often
- They hesitate a lot
Of course, there are many other ways to see if someone is nervous. If you find someone doing one of these things they might be nervous because they like you.
7) His/Her friends like you too
Usually, if we like somebody we tell our friends about them. Obviously we tell our friends the good personality this person has, which makes our friends automatically think this person is a great guy to spend time with.
If you're lucky his/her friends might even say something like "we'll leave you two alone". This is a big hint (if not even already a fact) that they like you for sure.
Getting into the inner circle of someone's life can be hard but if you manage to get in there are just two options left:
- They really really like you
- You've been friend-zoned, sorry :(
Dating can be fun and We highly encourage you to make your own experiences. It's really hard to truly find out whether someone secretly likes you or not. Most of the time, the easiest way is to just ask for another date after a nice first date. If they're responding with a "yeah, why not" you might be dating someone who isn't that much into in you. On the other hand, if they say something like "yes, absolutely! I'd love to see you again" they're most likely into you or are at least enjoying spending time with you. That being said, you should look at the level of enthusiasm someone shows you when talking to you.
We'd still encourage you to look for the hints mentioned in this blog post, but don't take any of them for granted. If you have a bad feeling when dating someone if you feel uncomfortable or uncertain when talking to them or even if you just feel like there's something missing it's most likely not gonna be the one relationship that's going to last forever and you shouldn't invest too much time in it.